Why you don't *really* love to write

Dorothy Parker once said:

“I hate writing, but I love having written.” 

What does she mean? How can a writer hate writing?

I know the majority of writers will relate to this quote because, let’s be honest, we don’t really like to write.

This doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the wrong career, or that you’re shady scammer offering “writing services” (hence the origin of the impostor syndrome).

This means, though, that the writing process is a big mess by itself. And by default, the brain doesn’t like to struggle and get stressed -- so it starts hating it.

We can’t help but trying to get into the nitty-gritty of this issue, and then do our best to become better writers.

What I’m going to explain now is not a psychology class, nor a deep investigation on the subject. But, it is a practical point of view about the problem, with bonus tips to deal with it.

Sounds good? Great, let’s get started.

The main reason why you procrastinate

You don’t struggle to write because your fingers hurt.

You struggle because you don’t really know what to write exactly. There’re no ideas in your head, words aren’t flowing, and the anxiety is driving you crazy.

This means that the problem is in your head, in the way you think.

And I’m not the only one saying it, according to this quote by David McCullough:

“Writing is thinking. To write well is to think clearly. That's why it's so hard.”

If you think about this quote for a moment, it makes total sense as to why we struggle so much to pull a bunch of words together.

Writing requires a special state of mind in order to flow. You need to be focused, creative, conscious, rational, and emotional so your mind works in an ideal way...

See, in these digital times, we’re constantly being bombarded with information and attention-grabbing headlines. We’re always reading about a topic, and minutes later, thinking about another. And due to our hummingbird attention span, our minds are not used to think about one single thing without wanting to jump into another place.

If we’re unable to think clearly, stay focused, and organise our thoughts, then we’ll inevitably struggle to write.

And when we struggle to write, our brain hates it, and prompt us to procrastinate on a regular basis, driving us crazy as hell!

It sounds logical, right?

In the end, this is how it looks:

Low attention span → unorganised thoughts → writing struggle → negative feelings → procrastination

How to deal with procrastination in writing

Don’t blame the internet, your mind is chaotic by default.

However, regardless of who ought to be blamed, there’re several things we can do to overcome this writing problem.

First, think about the main problem: your thoughts.

If you can control your thoughts, you can control your writing quality. This way, you’d be able to write with more fluency and with less pain. 

Here are some quick tips to write with more ease:

• Fill your brain with relevant context. My trick is to get input (information about the topic) in my brain until I get “in the zone”. This includes speaking out loud about the topic, imagining my target audience, and reading my research resources until I’m 100% immersed in the subject.

• Be confident. If you like to think, tell stories, teach, or simply put your thoughts into paper, then you’re a good writer. Don’t let impostor syndrome to struggle more than you already do. Trust yourself and be confident that you’re a great writer.

• Clear your mind. Practicing meditation or mindfulness will help you stay focused by observing your thoughts carefully. In fact, research has shown that meditating can make a huge difference in your writing process -- and your life in general.

• Simplify your environment. The less distracting your work environment is, the easier it is to stay focused. Some writers find it useful to wear earplugs for this reason, since blocking yourself from the outer world helps to stay more focused on your internal world.

• Just write. The best advice you’re going to get from pro writers is to “just start writing”. It’s more or less like attempting to swim in cold water, you just gotta get in as soon as possible, because that’s the only way to swim.

Following these will help you write without too much pain, or better than that, improve your writing quality.

However, you’ll never get rid of the struggle completely. And this is why you need to…

Embrace the writing chaos

Writing requires a little bit of chaos. Or else, where would you get your ideas from?

Only through the chaos of brainstorming, unique ideas can see the light.

It’s your work as a writer to embrace the chaos, learn it, and separate the wheat from the chaff. And only then, it will be possible for you to write quality content at will.

Also, remember that Dorothy Parker quote? Well, according to quote investigator, there’s no source proving she said something like that.

However, many other famous writers have said similar phrases over the decades. Those including George R. R. Martin, Frank Norris, Robert Louis Stevenson, Cornelia Otis Skinner, Clive Barnes, Gloria Steinem, Hedley Donovan…

All of these veterans have said more or less the same thing. That they “hate to write, but love having written”.

So... is it inevitable to avoid the painful writing process?

Absolutely!

Doesn’t matter how many mental tricks you try, some struggle will always be involved while you write -- and even the famous writers struggle!

The most important thing is to not let that pain stop you from writing and do what you love...

Oh, wait...

If no one loves to write, what does it mean to love writing?

Honestly, one never loves 100% of anything.

Do you enjoy picking up your dog’s poop? No, but I bet you love to have dogs.

Do you enjoy cleaning up the mess your children did? No, but you still love them.

As a musician, I certainly struggle to find the melody ideas in my head.

As a writer, I don’t love it when I’m facing writer’s block.

You don’t *have* to love every single thing about your passions, that’s utopic. You’ll eventually need to struggle in some way. Instead, find it relieving and satisfactory to overcome the challenges, and sweat with pleasure.

That’s what -- I believe -- it means to love writing.

Not to love the obstacles, but the fact you can affront them and win.

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